Gabrielle and the Three Brothers
by Tonee Rhian Rose
Summary: This is a twisted version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.


_**GABRIELLE AND THE THREE BROTHERS  
**__**by Tonee Rhian Rose**_

Once upon a time, there lived three brothers in a wooden house with a straw roof in the woods in Athens, Greece. Their names were Jett, Jace, and Joxer. One day for lunch, they were each cooking a chicken. Jett cooked his until it turned black on the outside. Jace used all kinds of spices on his chicken. Joxer on the other hand roasted his chicken on a spit over an open flame. They sat down to eat, but their chickens were too hot so they decided to go out for a while.

Jett had been hired to assassinate the warlord Patronus so he went to do that, Jace went and performed a couple of songs at Meg's tavern, and Joxer decided to go for a swim in the river behind their house. On the way there he could be heard singing… "Joxer the Mighty roams through the countryside, he never needs a place to hide. With Gabby as his sidekick, fighting with her little stick. Righting wrongs and singing songs. Being mighty all day long. I'm Joxer, Joxer the Mighty. Oh, Joxer the Mighty, he's really tidy. Everybody likes him cause he has a funny grin. Joxer! Joxer the Mighty!"

Meanwhile, Gabrielle was walking through the woods sulking because Xena had left her behind. 'Am I always going to be an expendable sidekick?' she thought. Suddenly she came upon the brothers' house. 'I wonder who lives here,' she said to herself. She could smell the aroma of chicken. 'I sure am hungry. I hope whoever lives here will share their meal with me,' she said. She knocked on the door and called out, 'Hello? Anybody home?' She went around to the side of the house and peered through the window. She could see the three chickens sitting on the table, but no one was around. 'I'm sure they won't mind if I took a little bite,' she thought to herself as she climbed through the window.

Once inside, she went over to the table. She took a knife and cut into Jett's chicken first and took a bite. 'Blech! Who would eat this?' she exclaimed. Next she cut a piece from Jace's chicken and took a bite. In seconds, she was fanning her tongue and yelling, 'Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!' She then got a drink of water. 'Whoo! Boy, that was spicy!' she exclaimed. She approached Joxer's chicken with some caution. She took the knife and cut a small piece from it and took a bite. 'Mmmmm! This is excellent chicken!' she said. She then proceeded to consume the entire thing leaving only the bones behind.

Then she decided to rest in the living room. She first sat in Jett's chair. Suddenly she sprang to her feet with an 'Ouch! That hurt!' 'Whoever sits in this chair must have some really tough skin!' she exclaimed. Next she sat in Jace's chair, but it was a little too soft for her. Next she sat in Joxer's chair. It was just right, not too soft and not sharp like the others. After a few minutes she was getting tired so she decided to go upstairs to take a little nap.

Then she went into Jett's bedroom and lay down on his bed. 'This bed is too hard, and no wonder! The whole thing is made of wood including the pillow,' she said. Then she went into Jace's room. His bed had a canopy with a pink curtain. She opened it and climbed into bed, but all the feathers tickled her nose, so she decided to try another bed. She soon found Joxer's bedroom. Inside was a pile of straw and a wool blanket and a pillow. She was used to having to stay in barns sometimes on her travels with Xena so she lay down and went to sleep.

Meanwhile, the brothers were returning from their outings. Jett said, 'That bastard Patronus got away! I must be slipping!'

Jace said, 'I went over big at Meg's tavern.'

Joxer said, 'I had a refreshing dip in the river.'

When they went inside, they noticed that their chickens had been touched. Jett exclaimed, 'Someone took a bite from my chicken and when I find out who they are, I'm going to kill them!'

Jace said, 'Someone has taken a bite from my chicken too!'

Joxer saw what happened to his chicken and burst into tears. 'Someone has eaten my chicken and left me nothing but the bones,' he sobbed.

Jett said, 'Oh quit being such a crybaby!'

Joxer said, 'Oh sure you say that cause they only took a tiny bite from yours, but they entirely consumed mine!'

Jace said, 'That's enough my brothers. We need to find this person and confront them.'

So they searched the house and noticed that their chairs had been disturbed. Jett said, 'Someone was sitting in my chair! Look they left blood all over it! If I find them I'm going to kill them!'

Jace said, 'Whoever it was sat in my chair as well! There are blood stains on it too!'

Joxer said, 'Yes, there are blood stains on mine as well!' They followed the blood trail and it lead upstairs to the bedrooms. They went to Jett's room first.

Jett noticed that his leather blanket had been disturbed. 'Someone has been sleeping in my bed! I'm really going to kill them now!'

Jace said, 'You really need to stop all this death talk. It's not healthy.' Then they went to Jace's room. He noticed that the curtain had been opened. 'Someone has also been sleeping in my bed!'

Joxer decided to go on to his room ahead of his brothers. When he saw his beloved Gabrielle sleeping in his bed, he quickly woke her up. 'Gabrielle! Wake up!' he exclaimed gently shaking her.

She slowly opened her eyes. 'Joxer! What are you doing here!?' she asked confused. 'Did Xena send you to find me?'

'No, I stay here with my brothers Jett and Jace when I'm not out gallivanting the countryside with you and Xena. You must hurry up and leave here because if my brother Jett catches you, he'll kill you. He's an assassin you know. I'll meet you out in the woods after they've gone to sleep.'

Joxer took his blanket and lowered Gabrielle out the window. He pulled the blanket back in just seconds before his brothers entered the room. 'No one in here!' Joxer said nervously.

Jett looked at him suspiciously and said, 'You're hiding something brother, I can always tell. Are they hiding in the straw?' He picked up the pitchfork and started poking the straw hoping to strike something.

Joxer said, 'See, I told you no one else was in here. Whoever it was must've left a while ago.' Jett and Jace then left.

Later that night, Joxer snuck out and met Gabrielle in the woods. 'Well, now you know where I live. Why did you eat my chicken?' he asked.

Gabrielle said, 'Well, I was hungry and it tasted so good.'

Joxer said, 'Well, you could've left me some.'

Gabrielle said, 'I'm sorry, how can I make it up to you? You just name it and I'll do it.'

Joxer smiled and said, 'Anything?'

'Yes, anything, but make love to you. I mean I like you and all, but just not in that way.'

Joxer got a disappointed look on his face and said, 'Alright, but can I have a kiss anyway? Please?'

'Ok, but no tongues. You're so cute when you beg,' she said smiling. She took his face in her hands and gave him a little kiss on the lips. Needless to say, he left smiling. When Xena found Gabrielle she was smiling too.

'What are you smiling about, Gabrielle?' she asked.

'I think I'm falling in love with Joxer. He's such a sweet guy. I don't know why I never noticed it before,' she said with a dreamy look on her face.

'Well, you be sure to tell him the next time you see him,' said Xena.

'Don't worry I will,' she said. And she did, and they went on to become engaged, but that's another story.

_**THE END**_


End file.
